Simply Saying This is me, I'm Megan and I'm 17.
This blog is for all the extra thoughts I have and to express myself in ways that most people won't understand.
Psalm 42:1 As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after you <3

so today was probably one of the more stressful days of my life. we had a super long praise band practice, and you can only be in a room with the same people for so long before they become annoying.
but right during the middle of practice…we stopped, we prayed, and we thanked God for every thing He does and asked for patience. you know what happened? it was like a giant weight had been lifted! the rest of the practice didn’t seem so bad, knowing that we were doing it for God’s glory.
sometimes when we’re stressed, we just need a little reminder of why we’re doing what we’re doing to give us just a little more patience.

I’m so tired of not being able to sleep. its like, every night I get so tired and I lay there and lay there and lay there and doze off. then twenty minutes later I wake up, stare at the wall for an hour and repeat. its annoying.

I think about you often
of how you ruined my life
how you broke my heart
how you’ve made me cry

then you had to change
you’ve become a new guy
so what do I do
when all I want is you?

I lock down my heart
push my feelings away
I close my eyes
and pretend I’m okay.

I think I probably say close to a million words a day. I talk so much! But at the end of the day, I wonder if anything I say has left a lasting imprint on anyone. I realized today, that even if I ramble on and on and on, if the topic isn’t of lasting importance, how can it leave a lasting impression.

Maybe if I took the time to let my words reflect the savior I serve and what He has done in my life, my words could have meaning. Maybe if I talked about Him half as much as I talk about the Bachelorette, my words could change a life.

there are never enough words in the world to describe how you feel when you mess up, I mean really mess up. like right now, I feel desperately low. like the scum of the earth is of higher status than I am. then I have to stop and think…and I think…and I think. then I realize it! so obvious! its not about the wrong I did or how bad of a person I might be. you may ask why. go on, ask! because I love the answer.
because Jesus saves! not only that, he forgives. I don’t have to dwell on what I did. I don’t have to worry about what might happen if I do it again. I don’t have to look on my sin. you know why? because he already forgave it.
awesome, huh?
so for now, I’ll try to do better. maybe I’ll even succeed. but even if I don’t, I’m not going to stress. because even though I’m a mess, I’m a beautiful mess. I’m a forgiven, beautiful mess.

You know those days when you hate the face in the mirror? Those days when you can cry for two hours and no one ask what’s wrong? Those days when you feel too low to be seen? Those days when you want to scream to the world, “I’m here! Why have you forgotten me?!” those day when you don’t want to get out of bed because it’s too hard? Those days when you want it to stop? Those days when all you want is to go home? Those days when you get home to realize that’s definitely not where you want to be? Those days when the whole world goes on without you. Those days when you realize that you are tired of having those days? …I’m tired of having these days.

If it’s one of those nights in which you cannot sleep, How do you pass the time away? Do you stare at the clock Waiting for your eyes to close? Do you read a story Until your eyelids droop shut? Do you Watch tv or talk to someone else who can’t sleep too? Or do you lay, deep in thought Processing the day just passed. Do you see mistakes and failures Or can you honestly say That you are proud Of the choices you made And the things that you said?

dallasclayton:

CANDLE

The light from a basement window
as seen from the street
past two AM
can mean many things
my favorite of which
is that someone is fast at work
changing a life that once was
into a life that might soon be.

Love this (: